i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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