4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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