she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
