I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
