what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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