can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
