Screwed.edu
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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