u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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