im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
