Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
