And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
