the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.