Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.