It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC