I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
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My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
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But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water