I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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