So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
