I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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