I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
