come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
