is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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