I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
