Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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