she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
