I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
