Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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