those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
