and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
