i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
