God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
