Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
