sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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