Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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