we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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