I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
