I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
