Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
