Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
