We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
