so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can I color on your dick again?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
why is half of my head shaved?
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