I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize