We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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