I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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