i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
