i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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