oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
where are my eyebrows?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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