i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
