I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
