Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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