dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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