I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
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Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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