how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
