So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
