I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
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in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.