You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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