sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.