My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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