I bet he comes in French.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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