Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
