Midget sex pt 2 tonight
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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