I think my vagina is haunted
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
