turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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