I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
