check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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