i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
