I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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