Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
