I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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